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DREAM A LITTLE DREAM 2- (1995)
DIRECTOR:
James Lemmi.
STARRING:
Corey Feldman, Corey Haim, Robyn Lively.
- Posted Oct 22, 2010
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Oh my god... I feel like a Corey after watching this movie. Like I've just snorted so much cocaine, popped so many pills, smoke copious amounts of dope and bashed my head into so many walls in a drug enduced stupor, that I'm now suffering from more brain damage than I already had!
Sitting through Dream a Little Dream 1 was not a hard task. It still felt like a long journey though. It was a journey of discovery. Knowing full well I was about to explore the highs and lows of Haim and Feldman through a 3 hour trek of teen film history. So as I journeyed across the 'Corey Desert', I slowly sipped at my my meth laced water canteen, knowing I'd need my strength, preserving every drop for the sequel. Where staying strong through the weakest of film was most important. Unfortunately, I got to Dream a Little Dream 2 and had to swig heavily on my canteen. But all I got was a mouthful of fucking sand.
Dream a Little Dream 2 is a straight to video cash-in on Dream a Little Dream 1, which by this point had developed a loyal, cult status. Obviously, Feldman had the idea that his career was in cocaine-ville and both he, and his brother in film, Haim, were rather broke. Thus came the genius idea of the DALD sequel.
When the opening credits song titled "Perfect Woman" kicked in I knew I was in big fucking trouble. All I could think was, "fuck me, who made this terrible music?!" After some investigating I discovered Corey Feldman did (along with another track from his unstoppable music carreer, historically titled "Feelin' Funky"). Then I thought to myself, "Why the fuck would they let this foul man add his horrible music to what MIGHT be a fine film?" Then as I continued to cringe through the credits (and it's music) up on screen appeared a revelation! Corey Feldman co-produced this film. Which means he probably put MOST of the money into it (who the fuck else would fund Dream a Little Dream 2?), so he's calling the shots. Him being allowed to call the shots will affect the movie in several bad ways throughout the film's entirety, including the abomination of a soundtrack.
In DALD 1 Bobby and Dinger are rebels. They're burdens on society and they're kind of proud of it. I should note that this movie was made only 6 years after the first, which means our characters have aged this many years since. But going by the difference in character Bobby now portrays, you'd believe it has been 20 years. Bobby used to be as much of a punk as Dinger and now he's some kind of ultra clean freak fucking stock market broker. Too busy reading the paper, wearing stupid 90s suits and being Corey Feldman. You can literally imagine Feldman saying to the director "in this scene I'M GOING TO just be myself - because that's easier". Note- didn't suggest, just TOLD the director. Producer power :) At least Haim works at a place called "CONDOMania". Which is a store specialing in the sale of prophylactics :| But Feldman, who acts like a banker in every sense of the profession, works at a fucking SUNGLASSES store! I guess these guys like working in retail specialty stores :| It's not even his mannerisms, his job or his clothes. There is just NONE of his previous character's traits in this incarnation of Bobby. All it takes is to flash forward in time and watch an episode of The Two Coreys to fully realise and think, "Oh wait! No, Feldman just can't act - he's playing himself!" On top of that, Feldman is extremely fucking irritating in this movie, which definitely leads me to believe he's playing himself.
Anyway, the story has it that Bobby and Dinger are now living with Dinger's sister, Rachel (Robyn Lively). Bobby is all about the money, Haim is all about the spirituality (er, who had the out of body experience in part 1? Bobby or fucking Dinger!?) and Rachel is all about being a girl who hangs out with these two screwballs. Haim starts dreaming about Coleman and thinks Coleman is trying to talk to him through dreams. Feldman is telling him he's crazy (although Feldman is the one who went through the out of body experience with him?? :S) because Coleman's dead... Oh yeah, the guy who they had this amazing adventure with in the first movie? Yeah, he's dead now. Moving on... Suddenly, they receive a package care of Coleman, but Dinger spills Coke on the note that accompanied it so they don't know why he's sent it to them. The package contains a pair of "magical" sunglasses or some stupid shit. Why Coleman suddenly deals with magic sunglasses instead of dreams, I don't know :S More confusion... oh well - just do what Feldman fucking says already and shut up!
Speaking of doing what Feldman says... we have to have a scene where he gets to dance and dress like the pop idol he obsessed over for years, Michael Jackson. You know? Just like in the first one? Only done with much less subtlety and more... what's the words... oh... cheap stupidity! Anyway, so after they discover one pair of sunglasses is a "sender" and one pair is a "receiver" - eg. The wearer of glasses 1 will do almost anything the wearer of glasses 2 wishes, they decide to test this out on Bobby. He warns them not to make him do anything stupid... So what do they make him do?! THEY MAKE HIM DANCE IN THE KITCHEN LIKE MICHAEL JACKSON! HO HO HO! Wow, that's the first thing I would've done too!
Once again, it can only be said this scene is in the film because Feldman called the shots. The whole fucking movie reeks of Feldman calling the shots. He's even dancing to his own showstopper song "Feelin' Funky" which is a complete Michael Jackson rip-off. If it wasn't for the horrible singing (Feldman's only contribution to the music) it probably COULD be passed off as an average piece of music from the 90s, but no, he's singing in it. Feldman's ego is undefeatable and for him to have sat there and watched the Michael Jackson dance scene during the preview without any sense of embarrassment proves that. This scene is not only suicidal thought enducing - it actually replicates the experience of having your soul burned in the firey bottomless pits of hell. Viewing this film, or many other post-1990s Feldman movies, clearly displays his pushiness in getting exposure. He crams every bit of himself into the production like he's trying to rape a kitten's ass with a trojan horse packed full of Feldman clones.
Anyway, I guess that's what Dinger and Rachel wanted Feldman to do? They wanted him to dance like Michael Jackson and sing his own crappy songs. So much so, Dinger looks up to the sky and literally thanks Coleman as he enjoys Bobby dancing and singing away. That is no fucking exaggeration!
Bobby still insists on being skeptical of Coleman and his sunglasses (wow, even after the amazing time you had dancing and singing like Michael Jackson?! :O *smacks jaw*) so he offers to take them down to his work place and get Lester, his boss, to take a look at them. What the fuck is the manager of a sunglasses store going to do other than try and guess what brand they are?! THEY'RE MAGIC FUCKING SUNGLASSES, BOBBY! Go dance like fucking Michael Jackson somewhere and let Dinger take control!
While the sunglasses are at the store, having nothing really happen to them and just being somewhere so they can be stolen by the "bad guys", both Boddy and Dinger have a dream about the same "sexy" woman. Wouldn't you know it - it just so happens the next day the girl, Stacie (Lena Drago), comes into their lives! Turns out she used to work with Coleman. Yeah, that's right. She used to work with Coleman... that old, retired man who lived with his partner in a suburban house who experimented with meditation and dream theories. Apparently they made the sunglasses together, doing "sexual experiments" in the proccess and now she wants the glasses back. What the FUCK!? This piece of ass was fucking a robe wearing Jason Robards in his house with his partner there while they made magic sunglasses? The whole thing is starting to sound like some sordid porno! Oh yeah, just in case you thought the story didn't sound so bad thus far... some Judd Nelson look-alike killer is following Stacie because I think he wants the glasses too?! :|
At this point, I would just like to ask everyone - is this plot sounding as shit as I think it is?! What the fuck is going on here?! How sloppy does this shit have to get before I can call it cinematic diaorrhea?? No, fuck this movie, I'm going to call it that. DREAM A LITTLE DREAM 2 IS CINEMATIC DIAORRHEA! YOU'RE FUCKING CRAZY IF YOU EVER BUY THIS MOVIE FOR MORE THAN 1 DOLLAR! Fortunately, I have a 50 cent VHS copy that I'll be burning once I'm done vigorously scrubbing the dirt from my body after watching this bile scumbag of a movie. This may be harsh but a part of me wishes Feldman had died instead of Haim because I'm pretty sure we can attribute half of Haim/Feldman's shit films to Feldman's bank account. God knows it wasn't Haim's bank account, which was pretty much entirely spent on cocaine the day after pay day.
Anyway, after a lot of bad acting, bad plot and people chasing these sunglasses, nothing really happens, the boys end up with the glasses and everyone is happy to live their lives (and hopefully never feel the urge to make ANOTHER Dream a Little Dream movie).
A positive for this film is a genuinely funny performance by Haim which is such a shame because I truly think there was a point where Haim could have been redeemed. He could have seriously had a good career in comedy, but he chose drugs instead. I feel bad for Robyn Lively, who also offers a good performance and tries to make the most out of what is clearly a piece of shit film made by friends/lovers(Haim) of hers.
It was written by Susan Forman (who wrote NOTHING ELSE EVER) and Mark Sevi. Sevi has quite the career with the highlight being the story for 'Fast Getaway II'. You know, the sequel to the direct to video Haim film 'Fast Getaway'? On top of that he also wrote two sequels to another lesser known film, Relentless (decent Judd Nelson film nobody knows about). He also contributed his talents to Class of 1999 II, Ghoulies IV (also a terrible film - soon to be reviewed), Scanner Cop II and Excessive Force II - Force on Force. I'll tell you this... somebody without experience has BETTER experience than this guy. EXCESSIVE FORCE II? What the FUCK is Excessive Force? I've never heard of it and I tend to SEARCH for bad movies! Sevi's obviously the guy to go to when you want to write a bad sequel to a mildly successful film. Needless to say, almost nobody reading this has heard of or seen these titles, yes? Well you should thank your lucky stars. Anyway, you've done well for yourself Mark Sevi, saluhm! *drinks a shot*
Something more impressive and worth mentioning is actor Robert Costanzo (the annoying cop, Sgt. Vito Lorenzo, from Die Hard II / Quaid's mate, who Quaid kills, ("Ya blabbed, Quaid! Ya blabbed about Mars!") from Total Recall) is in this film! He would almost be the most successful, recognisable actor in this film. It's quite a lengthy role too. I guess they blew the budget on this cameo actor which pretty much sums up how fucking shit, pointless and terrible this thing actually is. This film only received ANY score because of Haim's performance, may he rest in peace. There's only one worse film starring the two Coreys and that's National Lampoon's Last Resort which I urge you to never, ever watch. I'll be sure to review it - sparing my sanity for yours - just as Haim has spared our nostrils for his, by nearly consuming the world's supply of coke, and just as Feldman has spared us the experience of being a demonic douchebag by being one himself.
Dancing like Michael Jackson with a cocaine enduced uber-confidence, I give this disappointing waste of time:
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0.5 OUT OF 5 JAGER-BABIES.
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